Most important things in life take effort – finishing school, losing weight, getting a promotion at work.  We even have to put work into the wonderful things in our lives like our relationships. Peace takes a lot of work. It’s more than a belief or a feeling. It’s not something we can attain alone, although inner peace can guide us. Grassroots organizations like this are a start, especially when shared. It’s time to take the long road and meet on the other side…

Real peace

Real peace is

where people respect one another

where life has meaning

where racism has no place

where violence is erased

where people can live in harmony

is possible.

When started by a dream

shared with others

working together

to attain the joy that humanity yearns for.

Just reach out

say something

smile

draw

love

and teach.

Of course Twitter is faster than TV news, so I got the news before CNN even announced it on TV. Social media rocks! I even read about the guy who lived close to Bin Laden’s compound and tweeted about the noise of the helicopters (our awesome Navy Seals coming in to get the bad guy) before he knew what the racket was all about. Poor guy. Now he’s being hunted down my every reporter on the face of this earth. When all he wanted was to live in a place that was quiet.

The real irony is that President Obama got to cut into the Celebrity Apprentice here on the east coast. I’m still grinning from ear to ear over that. And although we waited more than an hour for him to speak, it was worth it. I woke Sammi up to watch Twitter and TV with me because history is more important than sleep, especially since she had the day off from school. Well she has every day off from school with her Homebound status.

While I’m glad that our greatest enemy has been taken down (not happy about anyone’s death of course), let’s not forget the victims of the tornadoes in the south. I will be writing a post soon about some special people in Alabama who need our help. In the mean time,  the May family in Alabama. Let’s think of it this way, we can donate a few dollars and give up a coffee or a lunch out to help these people. We need to do it because as Americans we come together in times of need.

Who would think that a new hairstyle would help me get a new outlook on life? If you’re a woman, you may get that going from shoulder length hair to a short buzz cut is a huge change and can do things to your head figuratively and literally.

From the time I met my husband, and years before that, about 10 plus years, I had long hair. It was something I treasured, even though it took a long time to take care of every day. I liked the way it looked, my family did and men did. When I met my husband, he was attracted to me in part because of my hair and would compliment me about it all the time.

But after I had our daughter, I needed more time in my day. I was a busy mom of two now. Then I was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis, which made it difficult to keep my arms raised to wash, dry and style my hair. So I decided to try short hair. I didn’t go part way. I went all the way! And to this day I can remember how I felt when I saw my new hair cut – free! No more wasted time doing something I dreaded to look good. No more thick hair making me feel sweaty in the Florida heat. To top it off, I looked great! I saw myself in a new light. I didn’t need my hair to look or feel feminine. I was pretty darn hot! I was no longer hiding behind all that hair, instead I was showing myself off to the world.

My husband was shocked at first, but when he came around, the compliments started again. He said he felt like he was with a new woman It made our relationship stronger and happier. I had more time for us. I began to take better care of myself in other ways. I’d get my nails done, or try out new earrings. I felt more content and more carefree, even though I was facing a disease that was unpredictable.

Who knows what new things can make big changes in your life? Something that seems simple or unimportant can be huge. Take a look at your life through different eyes. Don’t be afraid. Enjoy!

Thank you to P&G’s Have You Tried This Yet? program and Kroger for sponsoring my writing about trying new things and breaking out of my everyday routine. Click here to find great savings on high-performing P&G products at a Kroger store near you. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

What is Random Acts of Zhu?

The makers of Zhu Zhu Pets and Kung Zhu, Cepia, LLC, chose 100 bloggers to donate 104 Zhu Zhu Pets to local non-profits that provide toys to needy children.

The Smiles

I went to Spring Hill Elementary School yesterday and met up with “super volunteer”, Maureen Follansbee, who gives of her time to both the school and other organizations.  Along with Maureen, there were four students (2 sets of siblings) who were going to be given toys they didn’t expect and one of the Guidance Counselors who also helped out.  If I could bottle the look on their faces, I would carry them with me to brighten my dreary days! The thing that really touched my heart is that they didn’t push to get their toys and were even shy to chose which ones they wanted. In fact they were happy to get what ever pet was given to them.

Smiles And Love

Is It Real?

Thank You

My Local Charity

Blessings In A Backpack provides food to students who receive free or reduced lunch each Friday. This helps provide them with nourishment over the weekend so they can return to school ready to learn. A guidance counselor, nurse, teacher, or other caring person in the community adopts a school and takes on the responsibility of coordinating the process and fundraising. In my area, the non-profit organization People Helping People in Hernando County has taken on this task. 50 children receive backpacks in my county and I’m sure that many more can use the help.

Blessings In A Backpack

What You Can Do

The school I visited, Spring Hill Elementary, is a Title 1 school, which means that at least 40% of students are enrolled in the free and reduced lunch program. In other words, at least 40% of the students are low-income. If 50 children in the county are enrolled in Blessings In A Backpack, that shows the need for more help. You can donate money, items, solicit donations or volunteer your time with People Helping People in Hernando County.

Blessings In A Backpack, a national non-profit also needs monetary donations, backpacks, food and volunteers. You can also adopt a school in your own community, or contact the program already in progress and see how you can help. You don’t need to have a lot of money or a lot of time, just do what you can.

Thank You

Thank you to Cephia LLC for the opportunity to take part in Random Acts of Zhu and for the Zhu Zhu pets that I was able to donate. This is just part one, which has helped me feel the real spirit of the holidays – giving.

Here are some suggestions for mothers on raising girls with a healthy self-esteem (these can be used with teachers, mentors, etc.) :

1. Speak positively about yourself. When a girl hears her mother put herself down because of her appearance, she is more likely to model that behavior.
2. Provide all types of activities for your daughter. Don’t stereotype and think that basketball or science is for boys. Let your daughter follow her dreams and her heart.
3. Encourage your daughter to speak up for herself. That doesn’t mean she can back talk or be rude, but that she can handle situations where her beliefs are questioned or she is put down by others.
4. Spend quality time together. We’ve heard this many times, but do we do it? Let your daughter decide what she wants to do with you. Here’s where the different activities come into play. Have fun! Talk about something serious. Watch a football game together. Cook a meal. Watch a movie and then discuss it.
5. Listen to your daughter. When she speaks, drop what you’re doing and look at her. Let her know that she can tell you anything and mean it.
6. Don’t put expectations on her. We say we want the best for our daughters, but that is often our perception of what is best for them. Allow her to live “up to her full potential”. (per the Dove Movement For Self-Esteem)
7. Tell and show your daughter that you love her. Do it often.
8. Compliment your daughter about her values, her abilities and when she puts effort into something.
9. Teach your daughter about female role models that are not based on beauty alone, but don’t judge her if she is a fan or looks up to someone who is a fashion model for example. Talk about it and get to know what interests her in that person.
10. Share with your daughter what it felt like when your body changed at puberty (when it is age appropriate). Discuss your feelings and allow her to talk about hers as well as ask questions.

Dove has done research about why the Dove Self-Esteem Weekend is so powerful in helping girls gain the confidence they deserve (“Rebuilding the Foundation of Beauty Beliefs”)

The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them which includes more frequent and more open conversations as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives.

When girls feel bad about their looks more than 70% (age 15 to 17) avoid normal daily activities such as attending school, going to the doctor, or even giving their opinion.

Take one hour of your time to join us during the Dove Self-Esteem Weekend for an activity with a special girl in your life. Add your event to the calendar and get ideas about what you can do to help raise girls with healthy self-esteem.

Related articles

• Self-Esteem For Girls With Dove (brainfoggles.com)
• Names Can Hurt Girls Self-Esteem (brainfoggles.com)
• 100 Meetups Join the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem (meetupblog.meetup.com)

• An 11 year old girl once overheard her father tell her sister that she was going through “an ugly phase” but the only word that was remembered was “ugly” and that it came from her own father.  It remained with her over 30 years.

• A 12 year old girl who had very short hair and looked much younger than her peers was often called a boy by mistake by strangers. She questioned her femininity for a long time.

• A 13 year old girl who was very thin was teased by girls and boys alike. She was called “skinny”, “chicken legs” and other names spent years concerned about her looks, even when she gained weight.

• A 14 year old girl was teased by a group of girls her age about dressing weird. She continued to dress that way, but doubted her fashion sense even as an adult.

Each of those girls are me and I can remember these incidents vividly. I can remember having surgery and losing a lot of weight from my already thin body. When I returned to school, a so-called friend told me that I looked like I was malnourished. Hearing boys tell me that I was flat-chested when just coming to terms with my changing body was humiliating. Self-esteem was a topic that we didn’t talk about or learn about back then. I didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone how sad I felt and how badly I felt about myself then.

To this day I have issues with my self-esteem. I am working on them every day and making huge steps forward. I continue to promote self-esteem in my two daughters (one is 23 and one is 11). They are praised for their accomplishments, their compassion, their interests, their individuality and given the tools to love themselves for who they are.  I help to instill in them that they can pursue their dreams.

The Dove Movement For Self-Esteem is reaching out to women to help girls realize their worth and value. You can start out by answering the question, “What Do You Wish You’d Know At 13″? You can also follow the posts by the other Dove Movement Champions like me and commit to sharing the word by writing a post of your own about how words can hurt girls and their self-esteem.

Has anything happened to you when you where younger that still remains with you?

I’m proud to be chosen as a Champion of the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem. I received a gift for my participation. I believe strongly about self-esteem and girls though and am happy to share this information with my readers.

I’ve been there, done that. Even while getting prepared for the Type A Mom Conference that I’m at now, I put before me expectations that were impossible to achieve. In the matter of 3 days, I expected to write this blog post before I left home….along with other posts that had deadlines, taking my daughter back and forth to school and to a doctor’s appointment, attending a meeting at her school, getting clothing ready for a consignment sale, packing and helping my mother with some chores. Did I get it all done? What do you think? If I did, I would have been up all day and night and probably sick before I even arrived at the conference.

Thank goodness that I’m learning to underpromise and overachieve. I didn’t tell anyone that all of the above would get done. That was my private To Do list. So when it didn’t happen, no one knew it except me and now all of you, but it’s fine. I’m one person with many things I need to do and many things I want to do. You can learn this and more through the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.

I didn’t use all of my energy stressing over what wasn’t done when I arrived in Asheville for the conference. Instead, I’m totally enjoying myself at Type A Mom. I’m attending the sessions I want and getting so much out of them. I missed one session because I needed a rest. I got some of my blog posts done when I could fit them in. And most importantly I’m not giving into that Inner Mean Girl, Edna, who wants to push me to do too much. Her voice is getting much lower as she tries to tell me that I need to be Perfect because I’m not listening anymore.

(affiliate link)

1. My Health
2. My Family
3. My Work

My Health

My health comes first, because if I’m not healthy, I can’t function. My family comes next because I love them. Then comes my work because I enjoy what I do and my earnings provide the extras for me and my family.

When I am sick or overwhelmed and feel that things are an obligation, I put things on hold. If I’m unable to get something done within a deadline because of illness, I contact the person in charge and inform them. I’m responsible and professional about what I do. If I feel overwhelmed, I’ll complete the work I must do and then give myself a break.

My Family

If my daughter needs me, that comes first. For example, this week she was sick and ended up in the Emergency Room. She was my priority. I did some of my work, but not all of it. This post is a day late. But there was no way I’d spend time working while she needed me and while I was exhausted from caring for her.

My Work

As to my volunteer work, I do things that having a deep meaning to me. I don’t agree to do everything that is asked of me. It wouldn’t be real and sincere. People often tell me that I do too much. It may seem that way, but what they don’t know is that because of having multiple chronic illnesses, I don’t cook and my husband helps with the housecleaning. I’m blessed to be able to do what I love!

Obligation Inner Mean Girl

For those of you who have that Obligation Inner Mean Girl telling you that you” Have To” or “You Should”, act from a place of love or just say no! To learn more about your Inner Mean Girl and how she tries to hamper our lives, join in on the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse or sign up for the Inner Mean Girl Reform School.

Inner Mean Girl Reform School

The Inner Mean Girl Reform School will provide you with the tools to learn how to change your sabatoging self talk (your Inner Mean Girl) to loving self talk (your Inner Super Heroine). Three months in length containing 10 sessions where you can connect with other women and be helped by amazing coaches and inspirational people.

(affiliate links included)

First here’s some tips on how to stop comparing myself to others – strangers, friends, celebrities, other bloggers and more:

1. I start off my day with the affirmation from the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse, “I am inspired. I easily appreciate myself and others. I am OH SO GRATEFUL.”
2. When I begin to compare myself, I stop and change my thinking process. I’ve been using my engagement and wedding rings to focus on at these times. I look at them and think of the love I have in my life.
3. I appreciate the other person and myself. I open my heart in love towards the person and do something nice like give a genuine compliment, smile, or find a way to pay it forward. At the same time, I think of something I’ve that’s in the same genre as my comparison. For example if I’m comparing myself to a woman who is dressed impeccably, after I compliment her, I think of the time I wore that dress that looked fantastic.
4. I am inspired by the other person. When I see a blogger who has written a post that has gotten great feedback and that I enjoy too, I work on writing better.
5. I am grateful. Instead of focusing on what others have done, how they look, how much money they make, I am thankful for what I’ve accomplished, my appearance and my income.

More Information About Comparison

Comparison has two sides – the one where I put myself down based on others’ looks, abilities, etc. and the one where I think I’m so much better than others. I don’t like nor want that “Comparison Queen” in my life any more.

She’s disruptive and takes time away from what all I should be doing. She’s mean and makes me act superior to others. She’s hurtful and makes me feel that I’m never going to accomplish anything in my life. I’ve set myself up for disaster with her ruling my thoughts. Changing my way of thinking is the only way that I can reinvent myself. No more sabotaging myself by comparing myself to others.

The Inner Mean Girl Cleanse is free and you can join in now! On September 22, the Inner Mean Girl Reform school will begin. Learn how to stop comparing yourself to others, giving up gossip among other important life lessons.

I’ve made the decision to cleanse myself of my Inner Mean Girl with the 40 Day Cleanse. My first week’s assignment was to give up gossip. When I thought about this, I figured it would be so easy. I don’t gossip! I like people. But, was I wrong.

My Gossip Habit:

• I start out saying, “I don’t mean this as gossip, but…”
• I talk about people under the guise of being concerned about them
• I watch and read about celebrity gossip a lot
• I stand by while others gossip and listen and then chime in

What I’ve Done About My Gossip Habit:

• I’ve said this affirmation at the beginning of each day, “Today I speak only from my heart. I leave gossip and toxic words behind. I speak only from my heart.”
• I’ve been thinking about my words before I speak them or write them
• I’m finding something positive to say to others and say it or write it
• I’m not expecting perfection because this is a habit that has been with me for a long time

How I Feel Now:

• I haven’t completely given up gossip completely. This is a learning process. I accept that and embrace that I am not perfect. I am proud of myself for what I have accomplished.
• The less gossiping I’ve done, the more love I feel.
• The less gossiping I’ve done, the less toxic I feel.
• The less gossiping I’ve done, the better I feel about myself.
• When I gossip it feels like fun, but later my IMG speaks up louder and with more strength.

Want to join me on the journey of releasing your IMG and take the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse? It is a journey. You’ll learn and be supported by amazing women and open your mind to love talk.