OK I try to be positive and upbeat most of the time. If I complain I try to do it with humor. So this is a warning that this is just a real rant, vent and gripe.
A few nights ago while eating dinner I started to feel that weird feeling in my throat where I have to work to swallow my food. I made excuses for it in my head: my throat was dry, I was tired, the food was dry. Then it came time to swallow my pills. Got 4 down without a problem then started to do the good ole choke, teary eyed, feel like I’m gonna puke deal. I ended up grossing out Peanut while I spit out the pill and water with snot coming out of my nose right into my dish.
Did I take that as a sign of things to come? No, take a dip with me into the river of Denial. Later that night my muscles began to twitch, my eyelid was drooping and man I felt like I was down for the count. Next morning I could not get out of bed. It was around 11 before I did, dragging my butt and feeling like I did way back when. So I knew this was it. I had to stop everything. I had to take my Mestinon on time, every 3 hours and sit around like a slob.
You get to feeling good. You get to wanting to clean your daughter’s room. You have plans to go shopping and cook up a nice dinner. You no I wanted to work on my website, get some listings up on eBay, take Peanut to the library, go with my Mom to the doctors. But for the last 3 days I did squat. I hate it! I hate being a good for nothing, can’t even take a shower, fix a meal for Peanut, drive to the store, woman, Mom, wife, daughter, friend.
OK I’m done feeling sorry for myself, well a little. I’m still frustrated and angry though. I’ll be better soon and my optimism will be back again.
I’m a wife and mom of two daughters. My daughters are 12 years apart so that keeps me quite busy and a little crazy at times. My life is a jumble of mixed up mishaps, but it’s always centered around my family.
